This year I've made a definite effort to be faithful in sticking with my fast for Lent, but doing it out of desire to draw closer to God, rather than out of a simple, "Oh, well, I should do this" sense of duty.
I also chose something that would actually draw me closer to God rather than simply benefit me.
In the past I've given up some sort of food, or internet, or a bad habit.
This year, I'm giving up sleep.
Not all sleep. I'm not crazy, nor am I mean to my family (yeesh! Could you imagine?) But, I am getting up about 30 minutes earlier every day to read and pray. In addition (and those people who know me will realize that this is where the real sacrifice comes in), I chose a devotion book to go through that is not based from nerd-dom.
It's something about being God's Princess. (I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit, yech).
What's funny though? Even though I just picked it based on what I had laying around (seriously, only people who don't know me at all give me books like that), it's actually meeting me exactly where I'm at. The scripture has been what I need to hear and some of the passages have kicked me in the spiritual butt (while some have made me go, "Ummmm...yeah, not where I'm at).
It's been good. I'm probably going to continue, because it makes the morning go a lot easier (probably the whole getting right up rather than laying in my bed hitting snooze and eliminating things out of my morning routine. Who needs to shave anyways?). But it's also been hard.
The actual act of getting up in the morning has been easier than I thought. But, every other aspect has been hard. Spiritually speaking, my butt is getting kicked. I'm facing opposition in weird places, people who normally would be encouraging aren't, and I'm feeling....well...alone.
But, I know it's good. My family is awesome and wonderful. My job is still wonderful as well. Things are going well! Promise!
But, it's still weird.