Similiarities and differences.

I once heard someone (or rather, I've heard many people say many different times) that we see ourselves in our children. That can either make us super proud, or super uncomfortable, depending on what traits are coming out. For example, Nathaniel loves to read, which is totally a trait from both Sam and I. But, Nathaniel also gets into these "Mr. Cranky Pants" moods where nothing can satisfy him, which is totally me. Ugh.

I have noticed, however, that Nathaniel is much politer than I ever was at that age.

I'm not known for being the most tactful person in the world. Forever I was hearing people tell me that I needed to think before I spoke. Thankfully, now that I'm 30, I can say that about 70% of the time I actually put that into practice. My apologies for the other 30%.

However, Nathaniel's sense of appropriateness amazes me!

He's a little (lot) type A when it comes to certain things. Like rules. Once Nathaniel hears the rules about something, he follows them to the letter. And he freaks out a little bit if other people aren't following the rules. But, he freaks out quietly, which is nice because when I was little my freak outs involved punching whoever the offending rule breaker was.

I'm not exaggerating. I punched my friend in the mouth and knocked her tooth loose for cheating in a game (sorry, Erika!). I also pushed a kid and bruised him up pretty good for cutting in line. I spent a lot of time in Kindergarten in the Principal's office.

But, Nathaniel, while he is freaking out internally about a rule being broken, has enough self control to whisper his concerns. On Monday we were at Disneyland and were riding the tram back to the parking structure. In front of us a little girl was sitting on her dad's lap. Nathaniel started to squirm next to me and started tapping my arm and whispering, "Mom!!" When I asked him what was wrong he slyly pointed to the girl sitting on her dad's lap and said, "No lap sitting!" (I must pause here and point out that every time we get on the tram the announcement says 'no eating, drinking or smoking and no lap sitting except for small children'.) I had to quietly explain to Nathaniel that it was okay for the girl to sit on her dad's lap because she was small. I'm not sure he was satisfied.

I hope that this type A personality works well for him and doesn't turn into an OCD thing. I want Nathaniel to be able to loosen up and have fun (which he totally does, most of the time).

With Aaron, however, it is a totally different story. It's like we had an invasion of the body snatchers. Someone took my sweet, agreeable, 'always nods yes to my questions' little boy and replaced him with this willful little toddler.

He has decided that it is time to push against every boundary that we have set up for him.

My formally great eater has started throwing his utensils at dinner time, tossing food over the side of his chair and spitting his food out onto the floor. So, our usual peaceful mealtimes now involve Sam or myself getting up, removing food from Aaron's grasp, correcting behavior, and listening to fits being thrown at the travesty of it all. Luckily, I'm not worried about him starving, because at least one meal a day ends up with Aaron having his food taken away (he's not eating it anyways, he's just throwing it around).

My passive little boy who used to do whatever his brother wanted to do, and who put up with a lot of wrestling and pushing around from his big brother has realized that he wants to play in his own way. Of course he doesn't have words for, "Dude, get OFF of me!" so he has resorted to biting. Poor Nathaniel has bruises on BOTH arms from Aaron's teeth. Time outs aren't working for this one because he bites his brother and then happily walks over to time out. Luckily the one little swat on the butt that he gets for that totally works. He looks at us with these pitiful, "I can't believe you just did that to ME!" eyes and bursts into tears. So far it's been two days since the last incident.

Finally, the sweet little boy who happily picked up his toys has started resisting. We spent 15 minutes last night rotating between time out and the mess of refrigerator magnets he had dumped all over the floor. In the end he happily picked them up, but for those 15 minutes it was as if we asked him to walk on broken glass! Luckily, Sam and I both remembered doing the same thing with Nathaniel at this age (once Nathaniel spent an hour between time out and Sam because he wouldn't hand Sam his sippy cup, but kept throwing it on the ground. Another time Nathaniel spent nearly two hours in time out because he wouldn't pick up the crayons he dumped*).

*Note. We do not make our kids sit in time out for the full two hours. This is one minute in time out, a quick, "You are in time out because of X" and then an opportunity to do what it is we asked them to do. It just took Nathaniel that long to finally do what it was we asked him to do.

And so, we are moving into that frustrating time of parenting. But, looking at Nathaniel and his general obedience and how easy it is now to correct him, we know that we are doing the right thing and that it is easier NOW when we can physically move Aaron into time out and help him pick up toys by moving his hand to the toy and to the place it goes. I would MUCH rather have the battles now than wait until he's 7 and people are wondering why my 7 year old doesn't listen to me.

So, that was quite the update, but with two kids at two different developmental levels, it's hard to keep it concise. Just wait until #3 comes along!

Here we go again!

With all of the amazing things that God has blessed our family with in the past few months, one of those things we have kept close to our hearts.

We are expecting another precious baby sometime in May of 2011. We are thrilled. Notice I have not given a due date, nor will I give out a due date this time around. When I was pregnant with Aaron I was overwhelmed by the number of "Hasn't that baby arrived yet?" comments, which while I know they were given in love and excitement of a new baby, they were not encouraging to the overdue, giant pregnant woman. So, know that the baby will be born by Memorial Day. (No, Memorial Day is not my due date, but my doctor will not allow me to be pregnant that long)

I'm going to share something that is kind of personal and close to my heart right now. Given that I am sharing this on the family blog, please understand that I would appreciate a few things. First of all, what I'm about to share is straight from my heart. No rude comments about anything. Second, know that I've been through a lot in my past two deliveries and that I'm not going to be dumb or go into this whole thing uninformed.

With that said...

We had our first doctor's appointment last Wednesday. I was super excited about the appointment because I just wanted to see that cute little peanut hanging out in my womb. It's also nice to have that confirmation so I know I'm not losing my mind and that I actually am pregnant. Plus, the knowledge that only one little bean is bouncing around in there is also kind of a nice thing to put my mind at ease.

Before we even stepped into the examination room my doctor (who is FABULOUS) took Sam and I into her office to talk about the nitty gritty details of pregnancy. Since I've been through this two times before I figured I wouldn't get any new information. But, since technology is always changing, I was informed of MORE genetic tests I could have done, etc. etc. We declined a CF genetic test for both of us, and the general "no thanks, I don't want you to stick a needle into my uterus to tell me something that may/may not be accurate and will not change my view of my pregnancy" stuff.

During this time we talked about my previous deliveries and pregnancies. During this time I said to her, "Well, I'm definitely a good candidate for a VBAC (Vaginal birth after Cesarean) so that's what I want to try for." My doctor looked up from her computer and said, "You are NOT a good candidate for a VBAC." My heart fell. My doctor then explained the whole, "you have had two large babies and they only get larger and we can't guarantee that you won't have a 10 pound baby again..." thing. She explained the risks of the VBAC and how I couldn't have pitocen (one of the things I was looking forward to avoiding, so no hard feelings there on my part!) if my labor wasn't progressing.

Before I go any further with this, my doctor is a firm advocate of VBACs. She knows that there are times when it is completely doable. She lets her patients make their own decisions and only counsels them with their own best interest in mind. She reminded me that at the end of the day what was important was a healthy mommy and a healthy baby.

But, she also made it clear that while she can't tell me what to do, and she won't tell me what to do, a planned C-section is what she is recommending me for. I have to make my decision by 36 weeks.

My heart is heavy with this decision I have to make. I so desperately want to have a labor and delivery that is not riddled with drugs and crazy interventions. I nearly died the first time I had a child, and was whisked into the OR for my second child. I have this image of delivering my baby and holding him (or her) right away and getting to keep him (or her) with me for awhile. I want to walk around during labor. I want to labor at home for awhile before going into the hospital. There is so much I want to do. But, I also don't want to labor for 30 hours again and end up in the OR anyways.

So, right now I'm praying about it. My doctor said that if the baby is a girl, the chances are she will be littler than my boys. That's going to play into my decision. Also, I'm praying that I go a little early. If I schedule a c-section, they will do it when I'm 39 weeks. Any time past 37 weeks is considered full term, which makes me wonder if I can schedule a c-section, but if I go into labor naturally before then if I can try it naturally. Who knows. I have some time.

So, all of that said, please pray for us. Pray for wisdom. Pray for my health. Pray for the health of the baby.

And please, do not message me with statistics either way about VBACs or C-sections. I have done my homework and I know the stats. Don't make me feel any more guilty than I already do. It's bad enough that my body hasn't handled delivery well (although, my pregnancies have always been a dream), I don't need a reminder that I just can't hack the getting the baby out part. Thanks.

Pics and a cute video

Nathaniel's room (Aaron was sleeping so I couldn't get a picture of his room)

Our bathroom

walkway through the living room to the backyard.

The living room

Our kitchen

A cute video of the boys dancing to VBS music.

There are more pictures, but I will upload them another time.

So much going on!

Luckily, most of the people who read this also are friends with me on facebook or at least talk to me on a semi regular basis. I've been a slacking blogger.

There are a few reasons that I'm a slacker. One is because we are pleasantly busy and the last thing I really have the creative energy for is to sit down at the computer and craft a blog that tells of the cuteness of my children and the adventures we've been up to without sounding like a complete bore. Another reason I haven't really updated is because there has been a lot of personal stuff going on and I really haven't figured out how to come onto this blog without over sharing or offending someone with a thought that might be a rant in disguise.

Here is a quick run down of our past month and a half-ish since I've updated.

-Sam went to his Annual Training up in San Louis Obispo. It was rough for him. He had evenings free where he was free to roam around in wine country, taking in the views and going to street festivals. (Do we sense my sarcasm?) But, while he was up there he was given the opportunity to take on a two year job with the Army, which means full time pay and benefits.

While it seems pretty obvious he should take it, we still had to do a lot of praying and seeking out of God's will. On the one hand, Sam taking the job meant stability for us, the opportunity to get out of apartment living and the ability to be a blessing to others more so (more missionary support, opening up our home to Bible Study, etc.). On the other hand, taking the job meant that Sam had to put his professional goals on hold for yet another year (most of you know what that means, can't mention it on the public blog, if you have questions message me).

After a lot of prayer and seeking the wisdom of others, we decided that this was a great opportunity for our family and so Sam decided to take it. He started last week and so far, so good. He's currently in Kansas learning what it is he's supposed to be doing here in California. It's such a great job because he's working at the base which is about 10 minutes from where we live. It's a stable job and all of our health benefits are paid for and we get a housing allowance.

Which moves me to exciting news part two:
-We are moving out of our apartment into a three bedroom house.
This is super exciting because we have lived in some sort of an apartment the entire 8 years we've been married. While I know deep down that we are super blessed to even have a roof over our heads (and the Lord knows that sometimes we weren't even sure how we were going to pay for a small apartment, but He always provided the means), it was time to move. There have been super sketchy things happening in our apartment complex as of late, and it makes it hard to allow the boys to play outside and not hear/see things that they shouldn't (older kids cussing, vandalizing, engaging in sexual activities, etc.).

Again, I understand that we are very blessed and that in some places in the world the boys would be exposed to much worse, but if I can protect their innocence as long as I can, I would like to do that.

-I got to take my wonderful Junior High group to Hume Lake Christian Camp.
This was my first summer at my new job and with it came the opportunity to take them to summer camp. I love camp, even though it takes me away from my family for almost a week, the excitement and spiritual awakenings that happen there is totally worth it. Hume Lake is up in King's Canyon and it's absolutely breath taking. After we move I will post some pictures of camp and our recent trips. Right now I cannot find my camera cord. I think it's packed.

Camp was great. The kids bonded together really well. I was also really happy to have the opportunity to just let myself relax a little bit and show them my fun side. It was good. I can't go into too much detail in order to protect the identity and personal issues of the students, but we had a ton of fun, and I know that God is still using the teachings in their hearts.

-We took a family trip to San Diego.
This is only a trip we have done as a family when Sam has been on deployment or about to be shipped away, so this was a new experience for us. We got to go and do things without the dark cloud of a looming separation hanging over our heads. We enjoyed the San Diego Zoo (a place Sam and I went pre-kids and enjoyed showing the boys. My favorite part was when we decided to go get ice cream and Nathaniel, who had been a little grumpy at this point, immediately cheered up and proclaimed, "Wow, Mom, I really love the zoo!") and we also visited the San Juan Capistrano Mission. It was very relaxing and just a fun time. Again, I will upload pictures in a week or so after we are done moving.

Oh, and Sam also got a job teaching as an adjunct philosophy professor online with Ashford University. It's great for him to be able to keep his philosophical mind in gear while doing Army stuff full time.

That's about it here. I have tons of cute kid stories. Aaron is growing like a weed and is really becoming more verbal. It helps that he's in daycare now so he's around kids who don't speak for him. Nathaniel tends to speak for him, which makes him perfectly happy, so it's nice that he has to work for his words now. Aaron also realizes that he's funny, so he does super silly stuff all day long with a silly grin on his face. Tonight he was pretending to eat his green beans (because, bless his heart, even though he tries and tries, he just doesn't like them) and so he was putting them near his mouth and then moving them outside of his chin and down his neck and tucking them into his shirt, pretending to eat them. He's really coming along in the potty training. He is super stubborn, but it's working in my favor because he throws a fit when I try to put diapers on him. Tonight I had to put a Pull Up on him because he wouldn't wear the diaper. Once I am more consistent with him, and once he's a little more verbal and coordinated, I don't think it will be a problem. Especially since he uses the toilet about 25% of the time.

Nathaniel is doing really well. Something clicked for him and now he is drawing pictures that actually look like what he says they are (this was after months of just scribbles). He's reading pretty well too and has really taken to math. We had a battle with Preschool earlier this month. I think it was just that Sam and I were gone so much this summer at different times that it threw Nathaniel off. He is super sensitive to one of us being gone. I know it's because Sam was gone so much of Nathaniel's early life. But, this past week he's had a good attitude and has been excited to go.

So, that's my book of an update. Lots going on and almost all of it is fantastic. I promise to update more often and put pictures as well. Especially before Aaron gets his first haircut (which is coming soon as he is starting to get a mullet). Thanks for reading!

Is it birth order, or simply personality?

Children never cease to amaze me.  Especially watching them grow from teeny, tiny infants who can’t do anything but lay there and cry to giant children who have definite wants and desires.

Nathaniel and Aaron are pretty similar in their temperaments.  They are both pretty easy going kids who are fairly happy most of the time.  Of course, that there is where their similarities end, and I LOVE it.

Take Nathaniel, for example:

(Riding a camel at the zoo)

Nathaniel is timid.  He has always been timid (and that is perfectly okay).  In a new situation, he is more likely to stand off to the side and watch.  He has come quite a ways from last year however.  Last year at this time, a new situation brought Nathaniel to tears.  It wasn’t that he was fearful, he was just cautious.  He was (and still is) unafraid of attempting physical challenges, it’s just social situations that cause him to stop.  Now, he will join a group and begin playing near them if he doesn’t know them (this is HUGE!).  He will also speak to someone when he is spoken to (most of the time).

However, Aaron is a completely different child:

(At Crystal Cove Beach)

This child is completely fearless in nearly all situations.

He is the kid who waves at everyone while walking down the street and says “Hi!!” and “Bye!!!”  He climbs to the top of the playground equipment without even thinking that he could possibly fall.  He has a sense of things being “fair”, which is really hard because he is not quite 18 months old and not 4 like his brother. 

Aaron is a climber.  Today alone I had to pull him down from the top of the monkey bars at church, pull him off of the top of the kitchen table, and pull him down off of the bathroom counter.  Ugh!  Also, he knows what he wants and refuses to compromise. 

Aaron desperately wants to be big.  He sees his brother doing things, and really wants to do it too.  Every day he throws a fit when I try to diaper him.  Which is great, because if I leave his diaper off he will go in his potty.  But, he doesn’t have the words to tell me he has to go, so he can’t go diaper-less in public.  Today, however, he saw Nathaniel pee standing up and was completely enthralled.  About 20 minutes later I saw Aaron standing in front of his little potty trying to pee.  He threw a fit when I made him sit down. 

Oy.

One more cute story of Aaron’s bravado (and a comparison to how Nathaniel reacted).

This past week we took part in Cypress Church’s VBS.  It was “High Seas Adventure” which meant there were pirates involved.  One of the main actors in the skit was ‘Captain Curly Beard’.  Kellan (the guy playing the part) was completely decked out in his costume.  One morning we walked into the church and Captain Curly Beard was there with an Air Cannon.  Aaron got a blast in the face, took one look at the pirate and burst into tears.  He clung to me tighter than he ever has before and just cried and cried.  I felt bad for him, but secretly relished the fact that he still needs his mommy.  The next day I was watching Aaron during worship time.  I saw him standing on his tip toes trying to see the dancers on stage.  Then, he looked over his shoulder and came walking over to me.  It was this weird combination of hugging me and looking at the door and waving uncertainly. 

I looked over my shoulder and saw Captain Curly Beard standing by the door.  So, I asked Aaron if he wanted to go say hi to the pirate.  He gripped my arm but nodded.  So, we went over to where Kellan was standing and Aaron faced him and waved.  He still freaked when the hat was removed, but he was brave enough to wave.

By Friday he had hugs and kisses for the scary Pirate.

Nathaniel, on the other hand, would cry every morning that the pirate was scary and he wanted to stay with me.

I love my kids.  I love how different they are.  I pray that we can always encourage them to be the young men that God has created them to be.

 

Nathaniel sunbathing with his friend Kaatje.

Four Years Ago

Four years ago we were blessed with our own little "Gift of God".

After 30 hours of labor (yes, I will milk this until the day I die, for both of my giant sons) Nathaniel Lawrence Grummons entered into this world on July 14, 2006 and forever changed our lives.

Four years later, we can't imagine our lives without him.

Our prayer for him every night is that he will continue to grow in his knowledge of Jesus and that he will always make good decisions and choose to serve the Lord his whole life. We know that there is only so much that we as parents can do, and pray that we do those things and that Nathaniel will listen and find his own way as well.

Thank you God, for our son.


Today I asked him what he liked to be called, Nathaniel or Nathan. He said, "both!" and smiled. Which is good, because I call him Nathaniel and Sam calls him Nathan (and all of his little preschool friends call him Mathaniel, except for the Indian family in our complex, they call him Ethan). Whatever, we just know that we love him.

Help, someone replaced the baby with a little boy!

It has happened.  Our cute, roly poly Baby has been replaced with a rambunctious toddler.  It’s so sad, but exciting at the same time.

Showing off his belly to be “gotten”

Pretty proud to be standing on the stump while camping.

Aaron has gone from not saying much, to speaking the strangest of words.  When asked to say “Daddy” he says “Mama” with a grin on his face.  He says, “teeth” “cheese” “ball” and “Steve!” (from Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, the monkey’s name is Steve and he says it a lot).  He nods yes and no in answer to our questions and does a lot of pointing as well.

But, the most exciting thing in “Aaron’s world” is his use of the potty.  About a month ago we started putting him on the potty when we noticed he was about to poop.  That went on pretty regularly for about a week but then we quit because he didn’t seem too interested.  This week he walked over to his toilet and pulled at his pants.  I took his diaper and pants off and he sat down and actually went.  This has happened about four times since then, even with dry diapers  as well (instead of a full diaper and then pee in the toilet).  I’m super excited about this because he actually seems ready to train.  I’m ready.  We’ve been buying diapers for four years!

So, our little baby is now on his way to becoming a big boy.  I’m sad.  I miss my baby!!