Saturday, March 12, 2011

My thoughts on being a mom to boys (so far).

The more apparent my pregnancy becomes (i.e., the less I just look fat and the more obvious it is that there is someone taking up residence in my body), the more random strangers feel comfortable coming up to me and making small talk/rude comments towards me.

It's really weird because it's a lot of assumptions based on our choices that Sam and I have made as parents/reproducing adults and a lot of pigeon hole-ing that has been done.

For one, a lot of people assumed that we decided to have a third child because we had two boys and were trying for a girl. That is not the case in the slightest. I would like to think that if we had "one of each" that we would still have chosen to have a third child. I can't say what drives us to have kids, except that we have yet to feel "done" having kids. It's weird and complicated and hard to explain. So, when the ultrasound results came out, many of my close friends and family were awesome with their responses of "Hooray! Another boy!!" Even if they were secretly thinking, "Ohhh...a girl would have been nice for them." they didn't say it out loud. Bless them.

It's also weird when people automatically assume that we were disappointed to find out that we were having a third boy. I have said from the beginning of this pregnancy, "I just want a healthy baby (and a nice and easy delivery, but I'll take the healthy baby over the easy delivery)." and I really meant that I just wanted a healthy baby. So, when the doctor waved his magic wand over my belly and pronounced this baby a boy, I was more concerned that the femur measurements were developmentally correct and that the heart had four chambers, etc. than I was concerned about whether or not the chromosomes were XX or XY. In fact, a few weeks before the ultra sound I started to panic thinking that the baby might be a girl and thinking, "Holy Crap, I don't know what to do with a girl!"

Needless to say, giving up sarcasm this week has been incredibly trying for me because in the past two days I have had 4 random strangers comment on us having a boy. No, strike that, 5. One of those strangers was awesome though, saying what a blessing children were and how exciting it was that I was getting another boy. I thanked her for her kind words and told her that I was excited.

The other 4 people have reacted strangely to the news of a third boy in our family (like it directly affects them or something). I've gotten the, "Oh...weren't you hoping for a girl?" comments the "That's why we stopped at two, I am terrified of having another boy!" comments and the "I bet you are sad because you don't get to play dress up and buy dresses." comments.

Seriously? I love being a mom to boys. I get to dig in the dirt. I get to make poop jokes and know that my kids will laugh hysterically. Our toys consist of cars, trains, blocks, and nothing that involves teeny tiny accessories. As they grow, we get to raise strong men who will *hopefully* have a good work ethic and will respect women.

I have toyed with the idea of telling strangers that we don't know what we are having, but then I will have to hear the "Oh, I bet you are hoping for a girl!" comments all over again.

Maybe I will just turn the question around and ask something super personal of them. Or respond with, "I bet your parents really wanted an (insert opposite gender of person asking question here) when they had you, huh?"

But, that's sarcasm.

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