I can't believe I missed it!

I missed the inauguration.

I've been looking forward to this day for a long time (8 years? ha!) and I managed to miss President Obama's inauguration address. Sam got to see it, and he's on deployment! I could have watched it, I suppose, but I had a doctor's appointment to get ready for and Nathaniel wanted to watch Tigger and Pooh. I find that some battles are better lost in the beginning rather than fought.

I still can't believe I missed it. I will have to watch it on hulu or something.

Sigh.

On a bright note: It looks like I'm done gaining weight for this pregnancy and I saw the other doctor today and he said that baby #2 looks like he'll weigh less than Nathaniel did! That's a comforting thought. He also said to me (after reading my chart) that in his over 20 years of practicing medicine he's only seen someone who had complications like mine once while he was still interning. Somehow that was supposed to be comforting...

Making progress.

I made the commitment that once I was finished with school and everything that I would buckle down and get serious about potty training. Of course, that's easier said than done, especially when I have a willful two and a half year old who really isn't that interested in learning how to put his business in the toilet.

But, we have found our niche!

First of all, I actually went out and bought him "big boy" underwear, showed them to him, made a huge deal about how cool they were, and then promptly placed them in his drawer so he could take them out and look at them. It wasn't long before he was coming out of his bedroom holding his underwear asking to wear them. I kept telling him, "Oh, those are for when you start using the potty like a big boy! You can't wear those while you still use a diaper!" That went on for about a week.

Bring in the Spiderman pull-ups. I showed him the cool Spiderman pull ups and he wanted to wear them. But...no...only big boys who are trying to go potty get to wear those! So, on we went with the Blue's Clue's diapers (I should devote a post to Luv's Diapers here, I used to swear by Pampers, but now I'm hooked on the cheaper brand).

Every night we started making going potty part of the bedtime ritual. Three nights ago he actually peed a real pee in the toilet, and has done that every night since. Today at lunch he did it again, and again during nap time (this time it was the rest of a poop he started in his diaper). So, we whipped out the pull-ups and so far he has gone pee again.

I know that we are just starting down this long road, but he's getting it! He even has his little ritual down, "Go potty, wipe with paper, flush toilet, put on diaper (or pull up), wash hands and treat." Now, if I can just stay consistent (sometimes it's just easier to let him go in his diaper rather than rush to find a bathroom...).

On a cute note, today before nap time (which he actually didn't nap during...) he wanted to read a specific book but I just couldn't figure out what he was saying. He kept saying, "Meea, Meea on ha all!"

What!? Oh!! "Mirror, mirror on the wall! Snow White!"

He's also been watching Little Einsteins in the morning while I shower and has taken to running around the apartment yelling, "mission commission!" (mission completion).

That's an update for us. It's been a rough weekend for me on the deployment front. I think it just finally hit me that Sam will miss the birth of the baby and will be gone for 10 1/2 months more. That's a long time and the little one will be not so little anymore at that point. I'm okay, I think it's okay for me to be sad at times as long as I'm not wallowing in my own self-pity.

My heart ached tonight.

I honestly think that not having a bajillion things going at once has really lowered my stress level.

Okay, that was a 'duh' statement right there, but it's true! I thought that I would go mad being a stay at home mom, but it's actually kind of nice. I have the freedom to take the little man all sorts of places without having the stress of getting home and getting homework done or getting to class. Every day has been a new adventure. Today we went to story time at the library, yesterday was a trip to the dentist and playing at the park, we've gone to Disneyland and tomorrow we are heading to the zoo. I'm actually enjoying this more than I thought I would. Sure, I get bored at times and I never thought I would be the type who looked forward to games of Candy Land, but I'm really enjoying this time!

Tonight, after bath time, Nathaniel wanted me to pick him up while he was wrapped up in his bath towel. So I picked him up and he said, "Mom, I a baby! Cuddle!" So, we cuddled in his arm chair and I looked down at my little boy and got an ache in my heart. I remembered two and a half years ago when Nathaniel was born he was placed on my chest with a blanket wrapped around him much like the towel was around him today. I don't remember much after that point because of passing out, but I do remember the awe I felt at having my child in my arms at last (especially after 31 hours of labor). I got sad for a minute because I see my little baby turning into a little boy and I know that before I realize it he will be a teenager and then an adult and I will get to let him go and live his life. So, I told Nathaniel a little bit about when he was born and told him that soon his little brother would be born. Then Nathaniel got into pretend mode and wanted me to pretend cry so he could comfort me with his blankie (it's a game he plays, he wants me to be a baby and cry so he can comfort me with a toy or his blankie. Then he takes it away from me and wants me to cry again). I actually almost really cried because the last two and a half years have gone so fast.

At least I get to do this again. But, there will be the day when I'm done having kids and my little ones will be "big" ones who will have their own lives and it will once again just be Sam and I. Thank goodness I get to live the experiences between now and then.

Photos from everything.

Here are pictures from the last month. I realized how long it's been since I uploaded pics from my camera when I added 104 pics from my camera today. Eep!

Here are a few slide shows for those who are interested. The first one is from baccalaureate and graduation. There aren't many because my mom had her camera most of the time and my camera was being dumb.



The next batch is from Christmas, including Christmas Eve, Christmas day and some things we did around those days.



And here's what I've been up to since getting home. Yup, more Disneyland. I am actually pretty proud of how I look in the first photo, I feel huge, but from a distance straight on I don't look half bad (at least I keep telling myself that!).


Enjoy!!

A post that's been brewing in my head for awhile.

As the time approaches for our new little one to come into the world something has been on my mind. No, it's not another moaning blog about single mommy-hood, or the woes of being a stay at home mom. I actually think that if I can get my act together this won't be so hard (although with Nathaniel's contrite attitude the last two days I could very well lose my mind).

The topic that has been on my mind has been breast feeding.

Now, I'm not one of those "granola" moms who lectures people on the benefits of breast feeding or who sits topless in the mall nursing my child while glaring at anyone who glances my way. I understand that some people aren't able to nurse their children, and some people simply don't have the patience. I am an advocate of breast feeding because I know it's good for my kid, it's a whole lot cheaper than formula (trust me on this, formula is almost 25 dollars a can, which lasts about a week), and because in the middle of the night it's easier to nurse than to fix and warm a bottle. Plus, it makes packing for an outing a whole lot easier.

I'm even the mom who will pump and freeze my milk so that I don't have to buy formula in case something happens or I want to leave the kid with a sitter.

However, I found that when I was nursing Nathaniel I heard so much, well, to be honest, crap, from people around me. The thing is, of course it wasn't from other moms, it was from single women, or married without children women. These women would talk in front of me about how "disgusting" nursing was and how women should not nurse in public. I was even told that I should sit in the bathroom and nurse.

I'm sorry, but it's hard enough for me to be a "single" mom (sure, I have a hubby, but he's been overseas now for the baby stages of both of our children) and miss out on adult conversation much of the time. How can someone expect me to go eat my dinner in a bathroom? How can someone expect me to nurse my child while sitting on a toilet? To me, that's what is disgusting!

What bothers me is that people are uncomfortable with someone discreetly nursing their child (even if you really look closely you can't see anything!) yet there are pictures of half naked women all over the place and no one bats an eye. I can't drive to work without passing a billboard of a woman with cleavage all over the place, but that's considered "natural" and "normal". Yet for me to do what is natural and normal, to feed and nurture my child is considered disgusting and inappropriate.

So, that's my rant. I think that this time around I will be less tolerant of those who are intolerant with my feeding my child.

What do you think? If you are a mom who breast feeds or who has breast fed your child in the past how have you dealt with those who have opposed you?

(For the record, I try not to nurse in public, but if I'm out I will find a corner and cover up completely, I really don't sit there with anything flopped out. Plus, I stopped nursing Nathaniel when he was 7 months old, not when he was three or anything like that.)

This isn't so bad.

I have to admit. The thought of spending the last four and a half years preparing for full time ministry only to end up being a full time mom bummed me out big time. But, I am really enjoying my days as a mommy and I still get to do ministry as well (I'm preparing to teach a couple of times this month and will do a Friday chapel in the future).

Nathaniel is really at a fun age. He is so full of imagination. Cody (the imaginary friend) is kind of an outlet for him. I think that Cody does the things that Nathaniel wants to do but can't. For example, when I was picking my mom up from the airport I heard Nathaniel yelling from the backseat, "Mom! Cody unbuckled seat belt!" So I told him that Cody needed to keep his seat belt on. In a very angry voice Nathaniel yelled, "Cody! Buckle your seat belt right now!" Crack me up!

Today, after we did errands and while lunch was cooking, I taught Nathaniel how to play Candy Land. I'm impressed with his skills. Even though he is just shy of 2 1/2, he gets the whole taking turns concept and knows his colors so he can move his piece to the spot it's supposed to go. A plus is that he doesn't get the concept of winning or losing so it doesn't matter who wins he is just having fun. Of course, he is now hooked on the game so I think I played four or five games this afternoon.

On a pregnant note: I had another ultra sound today (I think I've had 6 so far) and the baby is head down ready to go. That makes me happy because at the last appointment he was breach and now it looks like we're good to go. So, the next few weeks I will spend getting organized and enjoying the remainder of my time with my "only" before he is a big brother.

Oh, and another fun note: Nathaniel is all about the phone lately and talking on it. So everything is a phone. He handed me a toy today telling me that it was the phone and that he was talking to his baby brother. I'm so excited for him to actually meet his baby brother!

Home again and a new year.

Well, we made it back in one piece. Despite nearly missing our flight in Iowa (icy roads made our drive a bit longer than usual and the guy who was checking me into the flight was s-l-o-w!) and being delayed over an hour in Phoenix, we made it. Nathaniel fell asleep in the car before we even made it out of the parking garage and I'm ready to hit it myself.

I was so sad to leave Iowa and my family. I had a twinge of regret as I sat on the plane in Des Moines, wishing that I had just moved back home after everything to wait out this deployment. But, I know I'm here in Cali for a reason, and I love the people here so much that I would soon get bored in Iowa without my friends and "family" out here.

I have a lot of pictures to post and some fun stories to share, but those will have to wait. I will say that one of the highlights from this trip was seeing everyone and observing how much people have grown up the past ten years. From my friend Ben who is currently receiving stem cells as an effort to save his life from cancer to my friend Emery who is expecting his first child with his wife, everyone has changed so much, but we are all able to get together and just relax for a few hours.

I do have to say that U.S. Airways sucks butt. They put me in an Exit row for both of my flights today and on the second flight separated Nathaniel and I. When I asked the people at the counter to change my seat for me they told me they couldn't and that the flight attendants would have to do it. That's fine, but then the flight attendants told me that the people at the counter should have done it. I was moved just fine, but the people who were shifted were so mad at me for taking their seats. One guy leaned into me, pointed at Nathaniel and said, "He's in my seat!" and was upset when I explained the mix-up. I would have been grateful to have gotten rid of the center seat for an aisle seat in an Exit row, think about the leg room! Not to mention that beverages are no longer complimentary on U.S. Air and as we were taxi-ing to our gate in Santa Ana the pilot literally slammed on the brakes and turned sharply because he nearly missed his turn. Egad!

But, now it is late enough for me to go to bed! Good night. I will update more later. I miss the quietness of the country...