Sunday, September 27, 2009

Events that should be in the Mommy Olympics (If there were such a thing)

I was trying to be productive today because TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY (hint hint hint) and I didn't want to do any cleaning or anything ON MY BIRTHDAY (hint hint).

Let's just say that with a three year old and a very mobile 7 month old it is nearly impossible to get anything done. Aaron is in love with the cat food bowls so I pick him up, put him in the living room, go and pick up a rag in the kitchen, put down the rag, pick up Aaron, put him back in the living room, etc. Or, at random points of my day I had both children clinging to my legs laughing hysterically as I struggled to not trip over the children and break my arm, causing me to make up some cool story as to how I broke my arm rather than being honest and saying I tripped over a child.

As I was getting Aaron ready for bed tonight I thought of a couple of different events that there could be for a Mommy Olympics.

1. Get the baby changed into pajamas.
In this event the Mommy will be given a pair of jammies, a clean diaper and one (very) wriggly infant. The winner of the event is the Mommy who can get baby dressed the fastest. Bonus points if you can do this without muttering curse words and if you can keep the baby from crying as you try to shove his flailing arms into his t-shirt.

2. Cleaning the kitchen (can also substitute bathroom or living room for this event).
The participants must sweep, mop and wipe down everything in the room while the children are awake. The winner is decided by cleanliness and speed. Participants are automatically disqualified if a movie is put on to distract the children. Bonus points are awarded if no cat food or cat water is spilled during this event (I totally lose on this account. Also, might I add that after I finished my kitchen, I found *gag* maggots in my garbage can!).

3. Wrestling
In this event the mom must happily wrestle with all of her children, giving each child her full attention and making sure that no one (including herself) gets injured. The mommy gets bonus points if she gets both kids giggling at the same time. The children get bonus points if they manage to make mom cry (eye gouges and stomach jumping are fair game).

That, in a nutshell, is what my day looked like.

But, the kids are in bed, the laundry is almost done (ants in the dirty clothes, ugh!), and it's only 9:34. Plenty of time to relax.

Did I mention that tomorrow is my birthday? :)

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